Weight loss has been a struggle for me my entire life. I remember deciding that I wanted to do my first diet on summer break between my Sophomore and Junior year of high school. I remember for the first time in my life thinking that I was FAT. The diet was nothing special. I don’t remember the amount of I lost but I remember the feeling after that first journey.

7 years ago, at age 19, I was again faced with the same issues I dealt with in high school. Alone, working retail in a mall, going to school full time, I let myself get to a record high of 325 POUNDS. No, i’m not kidding. 325 pounds was, and still thankfully is, my max weight. Wearing an XL DRESS SHIRT with buttons about to burst I knew that it was again time to make a huge change and I had to do it fast.

One of the ladies that I worked with had this great idea to try WEIGHT WATCHERS. She said that we could buy the books to do the program offline and read about how to do the program online as well. As crazy as it sounds that is exactly what we did.

I feel that the program is pretty straight forward. You are allotted a specific amount of ‘points’ per day based on you sex, age, activity level, and current weight. The goal is to eat within those specific points each day and the end result is that you lose weight. Well.. it works!

I’ve tried NutriSystem, The South Beach Diet, Slim Fast, The Master Cleanse, and many other random diets (just google diets and the crap that appears will blow your mind). This was the first diet where I could eat whatever I wanted and not have to feel any guilt. If I wanted to go out and get a quadruple cheeseburger I could. I learned that there were consequences to what I was eating though. If I ate that burger than there was nothing else that I was going to be able to eat that day.

7 Years ago I went from 325 pounds down to 225 pounds. It all took less than a year to do it as well. I have spent the last few years (and attempted a few of those crazy fad diets as well) fluctuating between 200 and 225. I was a big fan of NutriSystem but the cost was way to expensive. I used Slim Fast to get down to around 180. I still struggled back and forth with different diets.

When February began I had another co-worker who had the bright idea to do Weight Watchers and wanted someone to do it with. I stepped up at around 175 pounds and decided it was time, once and for all, to finish my weight loss journey and get exactly where I need to be.

Now, almost 2 months into the program, I am down another 15 pounds and am around 160. The sad part about this journey, and also the most shocking to me, is that my co-worker has fallen off of the band wagon and i’m still going strong! We head to VEGAS next week so i’m hoping that I can stay on the diet with no issues.

DEATH. We all know that at some point its coming. At a certain point in life as well we know that it’s going to begin to surround us It’s always a shock and it’s never the type of surprise any of us look forward to. The circumstances are always unexpected and its always unfortunate.

This morning at 2:30 AM my grandfather MERLE SMITH passed away. It was everything listed above. As an older man I knew his time was coming. I knew that every minute I had with him could some day be my last. I took that for granted and unfortunately I didn’t spend as many moments with him as I should have. A REGRET IS A MISTAKE THAT YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED FROM. I learned therefore I have no regrets. I look back and smile only on the happy memories I still have.

Grandpa was admitted to the hospital on Sunday for pneumonia. At the time everything was normal. Being elderly the admittance was simply just a precaution. Monday evening things went sour when an aneurism in his brain burst. A few short hours later he passed to his home in heaven. He will have great company with fellow family members that have gone before him. 

Today is the first time ever that i’ve called off work for a death in the family (don’t judge me). I feel that its more benefiting to be at work keeping my mind off of the pain instead of sitting at home and sulking about it. This situation is different. This man meant everything to me. My dad passed when I was young and this man stepped in quickly to fill the voice. This he continued to do up until the day that he passed. I will never forget the beautiful memories that I am left with.

Tomorrow I put in my second set of INVISALIGN BRACES. I have to admit that the first few days were rough. The pain honestly wasn’t all that bud but the fact that my mouth seemed to be in continuous turmoil was the issue. I felt the constant need to want to pull out the braces and relive that pressure that was being applied to my teeth.

By day three all of the irritation seemed to be gone. The only thing at this point that i find to be annoying is the amount of work and discomfort required to remove the braces and the amount of time I feel like i’ve spent cleaning them over the past few weeks. I initially had the idea that the Invisalign would be ideal because they can be moved in and out of my mouth at will. But, it’s a giant pain in the butt! The bright side of everything is that I don’t have to worry about ungodly amounts of mindless snacking.

Overall the experience has been nothing like what I thought it was going to be (please note above). I would never go back and change my mind. I would consider the option of standard braces a little more than though. I know that the pain is worse, the scarring is a bit more permanent, and your food options at time can be limited but at least you never have to take the darn things out!

Well, another new year is upon us. Another chance for each of us to plan out our new years resolutions and attempt to correct all of our mistakes from 2012. I spend each New Year’s Eve trying to figure out a list of my new years resolutions. This year I decided that I was not going to do this BUT it just wouldn’t be a new year without my resolutions!

RESOLUTION #1 - ORGANIZATION. I have committed myself to utilizing a 2013 Moleskin planner that I purchased from Barnes & Noble. Tracking my work schedule, tracking my bills, tracking fanlistings/blogs, and overall just tracking everything in my life will (hopefully) insure my organization.

Organization has always been tough for me. No real reason why. I’m a bit of a procrastinator. I put things off, I end up losing things, and overall get my dates mixed up. The only time I get a fanlisting on the overdue troubles list is simply because I didn’t document somewhere when it was due. I have found that when I use a planner that things get done and they get done on time!

RESOLUTION #2 – GAIN CONTROL OF FINANCES. I plan to do this by setting a budget and really sticking to this budget. I overspend continuously and spend money that is not necessary.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many half used bottles of foundation I currently have in my bathroom, its crazy! I do believe that I work hard for my money and can enjoy the simple luxuries of spending money on myself. I still plan to do this but in a more cautious manner. So much of my money is wasted on food and eating out when we could easily utilize coupons and grocery store specials to make great meals.

RESOLUTION #3 – GAIN HTML/PHOTOSHOP/WORDPRESS KNOWLEDGE. Learn how to create some of my own wordpress themes. I have friends that make beautifully stunning layouts and there really is no reason why I can’t do the same. This would go hand-in-hand with finances as well.

Nothing is wrong with paying for a beautiful layout. You shall notice the beautiful new layout I am currently using from CRAZY CORDY DESIGNS. But I really need to limit myself and only purchase when necessary. When I buy these layouts it’s important that I use them for a more extended period of time as well.

I truly can think of many more resolutions but I’ve been guilty in the past of having TOO MANY and then not sticking to any of them. If I set 3 and they all go hand-in-hand 2013 really will be a success.

2012 was truly a year of mixed emotions. I lost the most important women in my life towards the beginning. I gained a promotion that i’ve been waiting (and busting my butt) 3 years for. I revamped God Give Me Truth, Obsession, and A Public Affair. My relationship hit a low point and then yet another peak. I crawled out of debt. I bought my DREAM CAR. I saw a handful of amazing concerts and shows as well as an amazing live WWE RAW SUPERSHOW.

I look back on the year and have some of the greatest memories and some of the worst memories. I’m moving forward into 2013 with high hopes, great resolutions, and much to look forward to. New years blogs are some of my favorites to read so please let me know about your resolutions!